Sunday, December 16, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
what matters most! (journey, human search for meaning)
“Tired of weaving dreams too lose for me to wear, tired of watching clouds repeat their dance on air, tired of getting tired of doing what’s required. Is a life a mere routine or a greater scheme of things?”
Life. Routine. Tired. Since the time that I knew what life is all about and how the superficial things work, full of emotions and relationship that fully defines me. Tired? I become stagnant, completely happy, happy, completely sad, sad, angry, and stagnant again. I sometimes become used to think that everyday of my life nothing changes; surprisingly when I look back everything was different. I’m sick of questioning myself things that I can’t really answer, questions that I’m afraid to learn the answer , questions that I don’t want to answer, because a simple answer of everything and nothing could make or brake my heart. But at the end of the day I realized that I’m not really tired, as the song says life wasn’t a mere routine, it is something deeper than what I really thought it to be.
“. . . I need to find my place so my life would fall in place, in the greater scheme of things”
What? How? Where? When? Who? Can find meaning for myself? Is there a place Is there really a person? I heard saw, met and read different people in my eighteen years in this world, I saw how they professed and came up with meaning of their lives. I also taught people that until their old age and even until death they never find this meaning.
I also encountered some who are confused, tried to refuse so that they will not be diffused on having meaning to their lives.
I for one, I’m continue in search for who I really am? What am I here for? I am here to search for love and be truly happy!
Why do I want to search for love in my life? I also can’t answer directly why, probably through love I can define to myself what unconditional happiness is. I love falling in love over and over again everyday. I love to see people happy because they love and being loved. The motive of the love is not “you”, it is not seen by the eyes and the mind but what more of what is felt by the heart. Loving cannot be complete without people—people that continue defining love and life to me.
Who are these people? God, family, friends, significant others and the community—these people entails what and how I define myself “Relationships”, that involves decisions and choices to be faced. They are the one that make me realized, “I learned, I grow.” These are the people that unexpectedly I met in my journey, people that made me see the world more concrete, people that taught me “to love”, “to be happy”, “to be hurt”, “to be in pain”. Sometimes pain becomes a huge part in my life that I expect it to always be there I can't remember a time in my life that it wasn’t around. But then one time one time, one day I felt something else. Something that feels so absolutely wrong only because it is so unfamiliar. And in that moment I realized that I almost forgot to be happy, because finally I am. Because of these people longing to feel how to be special, that involves acceptance and eventually love.
When? The best way to spell love is t-i-m-e. The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others but how much we give of ourselves. Love concentrates so intently on another that you forget yourself at that moment. Presence. Attention. Time.
Where can I search for love? In serving, in being with others, in the youth apostolate, I find pieces of me when I share not even money but a spare of myself and being with these people means learning a lot from their stories. By teaching and making them realize how powerful love can be. By being a gift to the people around me, in simple ways that I can give and make even a simple difference, touch their hearts and even transform their lives.
Searching for love, doesn’t need any armor but heart. Having to find my meaning by loving requires me to love. Love has no crossing back, it’s a line that forever be embedded deep within my heart, once I loved, it doesn’t go away . . . it will forever be special. I know love entails unfair and judgmental reality, commitment, letting go, hurt, tears, a lot of patience and courage.
But what matters most is that you loved at all!
Life. Routine. Tired. Since the time that I knew what life is all about and how the superficial things work, full of emotions and relationship that fully defines me. Tired? I become stagnant, completely happy, happy, completely sad, sad, angry, and stagnant again. I sometimes become used to think that everyday of my life nothing changes; surprisingly when I look back everything was different. I’m sick of questioning myself things that I can’t really answer, questions that I’m afraid to learn the answer , questions that I don’t want to answer, because a simple answer of everything and nothing could make or brake my heart. But at the end of the day I realized that I’m not really tired, as the song says life wasn’t a mere routine, it is something deeper than what I really thought it to be.
“. . . I need to find my place so my life would fall in place, in the greater scheme of things”
What? How? Where? When? Who? Can find meaning for myself? Is there a place Is there really a person? I heard saw, met and read different people in my eighteen years in this world, I saw how they professed and came up with meaning of their lives. I also taught people that until their old age and even until death they never find this meaning.
I also encountered some who are confused, tried to refuse so that they will not be diffused on having meaning to their lives.
I for one, I’m continue in search for who I really am? What am I here for? I am here to search for love and be truly happy!
Why do I want to search for love in my life? I also can’t answer directly why, probably through love I can define to myself what unconditional happiness is. I love falling in love over and over again everyday. I love to see people happy because they love and being loved. The motive of the love is not “you”, it is not seen by the eyes and the mind but what more of what is felt by the heart. Loving cannot be complete without people—people that continue defining love and life to me.
Who are these people? God, family, friends, significant others and the community—these people entails what and how I define myself “Relationships”, that involves decisions and choices to be faced. They are the one that make me realized, “I learned, I grow.” These are the people that unexpectedly I met in my journey, people that made me see the world more concrete, people that taught me “to love”, “to be happy”, “to be hurt”, “to be in pain”. Sometimes pain becomes a huge part in my life that I expect it to always be there I can't remember a time in my life that it wasn’t around. But then one time one time, one day I felt something else. Something that feels so absolutely wrong only because it is so unfamiliar. And in that moment I realized that I almost forgot to be happy, because finally I am. Because of these people longing to feel how to be special, that involves acceptance and eventually love.
When? The best way to spell love is t-i-m-e. The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others but how much we give of ourselves. Love concentrates so intently on another that you forget yourself at that moment. Presence. Attention. Time.
Where can I search for love? In serving, in being with others, in the youth apostolate, I find pieces of me when I share not even money but a spare of myself and being with these people means learning a lot from their stories. By teaching and making them realize how powerful love can be. By being a gift to the people around me, in simple ways that I can give and make even a simple difference, touch their hearts and even transform their lives.
Searching for love, doesn’t need any armor but heart. Having to find my meaning by loving requires me to love. Love has no crossing back, it’s a line that forever be embedded deep within my heart, once I loved, it doesn’t go away . . . it will forever be special. I know love entails unfair and judgmental reality, commitment, letting go, hurt, tears, a lot of patience and courage.
But what matters most is that you loved at all!
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
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