AkaWnTinG 201

Sa inaraw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos, nararanasan ang iba’t-ibang uri ng mga problema—problemang madali, kaya mong sagutin kahit nakapikit, problemang okey lang kailangan ng konting pawis tapos, tapos na at problemang kahit anong isip ang gawin mo, kahit anong klaseng paraan ang gawin mo, isa lang ang sagot, “wala” o ‘ewan”. Di nakakapagtataka, parte ng buhay ang problema.

“Naranasan mo na bang umasa sa wala?” “Himala nalang yata ang makakapagpabago..” at “Ipagpatuloy mo nalang ang mga pangarap naming…”. Mga linyang basta nalang lumalabas sa bibig ng mga simpleng estudyante—estudyanteng kahit papanomay panagarap, payak man ang panagrap, panagarap parin. Kinakaya lahat ng problema, kahit minsan o kadalasan nawawalan ng pag-asa. Pag-asa na pinipigilan at unti-unting kinukuha ng tao at bagay-bagay na ipinamumukha na wala tayong kwenta , na wala tayong patutunguan . Siya ang pumipitpit sa isip, unti-unting sumisira sa lakas ng loob, umaapak sa nagiisang bagay na meron tauy, Pag-asa. Balibaliktarin mo ang mundo, gusto parin natin siyang isumpa, ipadama na tao rin tayo, tulad niya may damdamin, katawan at pangarap. Pero bakit ganun, para siyang manhid, walang pakiramdam at walang pakundangan. Hindi ba niya naranasang umiyak dahil hindi mo alam an dapat mong isispin, dahil hindi mo masasagot ang problema, dahil hindi mo alam, kung problema nga talaga ang problema o ang taong sumasagot ng problema. Yung tipong ginagawa mo na ang sa tingin mong “lahat’ pero “wala” parin. Sa tingin ko tama sila… “hindi lahat ng problema may solusyon, pero lahat ng problema may magagawa ka”.

Napapangiti nalang akoat nagpapasalamat, dahil hindi ako, kami sumusuko sa laban.. laban na hindi ko alam kung may patutunguhan. Laban na puno ng mga problemang ang tanging mababaon lang naming ay mga luha na galling sa kumukuha ng pag-asa na pundasyon ns simple kong pangarap. Na patunayan sa buong mundo at lalong-lalo na sa aking sarili na di nakapagtataka isa lang ‘tong problema…;

crazy ME =)

i wanna cry but i shouldn't... why? simply because i know i'm strong enough to handle ever situation in my life... i really feel so small, because situations are becoming so much bigger for me. i used to think and say eventually to myself that i'm simplt "k.c." that the big world can simply live without. sad to accept, but yes.. i'm in that situation now a days. i simply can't run to anybody.. why again? because they simply can't understand ME the situations that i face and I am facing, the people that i simply chose to love. Am I again wrong in doing such? stupid me right? Personally, I know that I'm not wrong in loving him, ( logically, is loving bad?... I don't think so) but come to think of it.. Is loving a person from the minisry bad? i don't know (If i know, why should i ask for answers that i know even me & him & God can't do ) for a shallow purpose of making me assured of something that my whole lifetime I can't assure myself-- LoVe!
We simply did letting a person go, that time I can't simply think of a word that simply best describes hurt, sadness and goodbye... but eventually in time you'll realize that God gives reasons for both of you to think about, situations for both of you to find out and make you say to yourself "..I am happy". I complitely belive in what Mother teresa said once about love..."Love is giving until it hurts" truely, you can only say "i loved when you see yourself bleeding, because you gave more of what should be given of what others think due for that love". Ironically, I do belive in destiny (seems corny but true) I think that when you're destined to be with that person, you will be, even you have to cross miles and would take you to fight for that person, why not. Love and God will simply make a way misteriously.

The world maybe to judgemental to the love that we're trying to fight and prove for. I think at the end of the day it's not about the world and us that matters, but its between GOD and US and the thing that eventually will make us happy.