YOU

(written Feb 25 2008. Poem about how small I see myself.. how I want to unwrap the contradiction of love that I see from the poeple around me.)

I hate to feel stupid as always
I hate to come up with the noise that bangs my heart
I hate to cry for the reasons they can't understand
I hate to be sad when everyone seems happy
I hate to feel lonely, alone, sad
I hate the coldness of my hand when sun strikes
I hate my tears from falling
I hate to think that I'm simply a loser
I hate decisions that prove I'm wrong
I hate situations that made me realize I'm a mistake
I hate sacrifices that requires my whole
I hate letting go that simply prove too much braveness


I hate the understanding of how I pity myself inside
I hate every smile they can give
I hate loving me.


I know I'm not worthy.